28 June 2010

At least I bought some new jeans that fit perfectly yesterday.

Every time I blog, I promise myself that I won't complain anymore. Then I realized if I didn't complain I would have no blog. Then how would you waste 60 seconds of your time? Exactly.

Things are weird around here. Not great weird, kinda rotten but we're keeping our spirits up so that's one point in our favor. The boy is still waking up 3 times a night - sometimes more if he goes to bed as early as he's supposed to. And nooooow, he's teething. I think he has two of them coming in - one on the top, one on the bottom (if we're seeing them correctly - it's like trying to investigate a wolverine's mouth at the moment). And they're really causing him pain this time, while they normally don't bring too much drama. It's very sad because he'll be playing & having a nice time, then suddenly start wailing & will run to us & put his little hand to his little mouth. My heart breaks but it's nice that he actually has a way to tell us what's wrong.

*Sidenote: he just turned the heater on because he can NOT resist that big power button, even though the sound of the heater heating up scares him everytime.

So anyhoo, the teething issues aren't helping the sleep issues. Also not helping the sleep issues is the fact that I can't let him cry in the middle of the night. I'd rather get up & spend 10 minutes rocking/feeding than wake up for an hour of pained sobbing.

As you can imagine, I am a bit of a mess. Okay, I'm always a mess but now I'm a whole new kind of mess! Ben barely napped today so I didn't have time to dry my hair, my makeup is barely there, I finally ripped off that toenail I dislodged 2 months ago & took off all my toenail polish (I ALWAYS have my toenails polished so they are discoloured underneath - yuck). I've been puffy recently so I have to cut down on sodium & pick up on my water drinking. I may never leave the house again for fear that people will chase me with torches!! Don't believe me?

True story: I went to take a picture of how pitiful I looked today (sometimes it's so bad you have to share with others) & Ben pushed in front of me to grab a cracker on the other side of the computer right as the camera snapped. I can't even share my shame without him ruining it!! Motherhood can be rather obnoxious somedays.

The little kitchen has been going well but it backfired today. I was cooking some lunch on the stove - fried rice with lots of leftover veggies if you must know - & Ben kept pushing me out of the way so he could put his wooden play food in the tiny crack above the non-toy oven then he's whine until I open the oven & get his toy food back out. I still don't know where one of the little toys went so I have a feeling the next time I cook, there will be a little fake burnt potato in it.

I tried to get a better picture but my bloody camera battery died immediately after I took this terrible one. It's that kind of day! Just discovered sweet chili sauce in my hair & realized there's a large pile of toys outside the pet door, along with my water cup & hair brush. So I need to go turn the heat off, rescue everything from the patio The Lanai, clean the whole house, convince Ben to take a nap, take a long walk, drink another 700 glasses of water, do 3 or 4 loads of laundry, finish painting my little table & then curl up in a ball & give up on life!! All I want to do is sit at the window & watch the retired people across the street clean their car ... AGAIN. That is seriously the cleanest car I've ever seen.

Okay, I'm off to go find some energy. Hope you're having a better day than mine!

24 June 2010

New Chef in Town

If you live near an ALDI & they are currently having a toy sale, it is worth checking out. No, this is not turning into Ashley's ALDI sales pitch like my etsy post. Just that I took a run through our nearby ALDI's current toy selection & came up with an awesome little purchase for $50. Check it out:

What could be cuter than a miniature kitchen set right outside of our own kitchen? Nothing is cuter, that's what. It took me about 30 minutes of cursing & yelling "PUT THAT SCREWDRIVER DOWN, BENJAMIN!" to get it put together but well worth it. Shall we see more pictures?

So, he loves it. I could not get him to look away from it to get a picture that included his lovely face but I guess that's a good thing! He has already taken all the food, utensils & pots & put them in the oven. He also took the little sink faucet off & put it in the oven too. Marcel is going to have to bust out the super glue tonight to hold a couple of pieces in place. Super glueing is a two person job in this household because one of us has to wrangle Ben. It would take a couple of terrible terrible parents to get super glue on their only child. Okay, we accidentally superglued his finger the last time we let him get too close when we were working on something. It came off eventually.

Hey, our new neighbor (who tells me that "the new neighbors" is our family's nickname around the block - awesome) informed us yesterday that there have been some break-ins around here recently! Maybe this should scare me but instead I am glued to the windows like a one-woman neighborhood watch program!! Nevermind that we actually have a neighborhood watch program & most of our nearest neighbors are either retired or stay at home moms or work the night shift so we're all here all day peering out our windows. They suspect that it was a group of teenagers that were coming around last week collecting money for some fake charity but really they were casing our homes! I gave those shitheads 3 dollars!! I knew they were shady but there was like 8 of them on my porch & I assumed they were neighborhood kids & I didn't want to be the bitch new neighbor who doesn't give to charities that are near & dear to their hearts. But yeah, they were shady. Seriously 8 juvenile delinquents - mostly skanky gals & a couple of doofy guys. They said they were collecting "money for our friend that died." WHAT? I didn't know what that meant but again, I didn't want to be the bitch new neighbor that said "Your friend doesn't need money if he's dead." or "And just what did this so-called friend die of?? Hmmmm???" So yeah, I gave them $3 but at least they know I'm home during the day. Next time someone stops by (except the little old guy who delivers my packages because he's adorable & remembers how to spell my name) I'm going to throw in something about how secure my home is. Liiiiike, "Oh sure, I'll sign your petition - let me just wrestle a pen away from my giant attack dogs. Where is that pen? Oh yeah, it must be next to my super high tech security alarm." I'm subtle like that.

Look at that, my text is centered again. I sometimes change it for photo captions & forget to change it back but I'm thinking I quite like the centeredness. I'm a Libra, the scales (as if I didn't that symbol hanging over my head all the time) so I crave balance. Center justification suits me just fine.

Okay, I'm off to clean up my kitchen & probably Ben's miniature kitchen too. Crap, now I've got 2 kitchens to clean! And I just spotted a tiny wooden spatula in my purse. Wonder how that got there? I better get it out before Brutus & Lucifer get to it & use it to smack my super high tech security alarm with it.

21 June 2010

belated birthday & etsy spruiking

I realize I never posted anything about Ben's birthday but that's only because I put all the pictures on Facebook. I actually meant to do a posting about the absolutely wonderful things I got for his birthday on etsy.com. If I haven't forced you to visit etsy for yourself yet, hopefully this will change your mind! Support some awesome artists & crafty folks. And don't let my terrible photos take away from the beautiful work.

Firstly is the lovely Maru from Fieltrunguis - http://www.etsy.com/shop/Fieltrunguis. Goodness gracious, Maru saved the day for me! I've written several times about how much Ben loves Giggle & Hoot, a lovely & hilarious duo of a dude named Jimmy Giggle & his gorgeous owl friend Hoot. The weird thing is there is absolutely no merchandise available for these guys, which is ridiculous. Luckily, a little Googling landed me in Maru's shop where she had Hoot cupcake toppers!! How she knew that a gal in Australia was planning cupcakes for a Hoot-lovin' boy is beyond me but they were beautiful & made my day.

And as if those weren't enough, I saw that she had once listed a Hoot doll for sale & mentioned to her that if she ever made another one, I would happily buy it for Benny. She offered to do one right away & managed to get it here before his party! I'm often tempted to steal this little cutey away from Ben.

AND because she is the greatest person ever, she also included a couple of extra little gifts - a little mushroom that I now have attached to my purse because it's adorable & some sewn robot buttons. I'll post a picture of them when I figure out what I want to do with them - too many ideas!

For his special day, I thought I should definitely make sure he had a special shirt. So I turned to the lovely folks at Fly Duds - http://www.etsy.com/shop/flyduds. They custom make shirts in any color your little heart could desire with some awesome fonts. I got Benny a 1 shirt with his name on the back. It was wonderful - would have been even more wonderful if I had bothered to get a decent picture of it!
The front

The back

When I was a child, I was always forced to write thank-you letters for presents & it drove me nuts for some odd reason. But luckily it left a good impression so I'm continuing it with Ben. I went a little crazy trying to find cute kids thank you notes but they're all either too cutesy/precious or boring. So I turned to my old friend etsy & managed to find a genius shop call Ink Stationery Studio - http://www.etsy.com/shop/inkstationerystudio & got some simple yet colorful & creative blank notecards instead with Ben's name.
When she sent me this picture of them I actually squealed out loud. She also sent a couple of samples of stationery with my initial & name on them. Let's just say she knows how to guarantee I'll be a continued customer. Bet she could help you as well!

So yes, now I'm a pushy sales lady for etsy but I just can't say enough good things about that site & all the amazing, creative, friendly, speedy, wonderful people who are involved with it! I've bought many many things from tiny cheap things to a $200+ painting & have never had any problems. Can't beat personal service & if they can ship easily to me over here then they can take care of you no problem.
Okay, sales pitch over. You rock.

17 June 2010

Straighten your V, dot your I, curve your C, T-O-R-Y

What's that spell? VICTORY!! Well, we haven't had total victory but it was pretty close & chances are it would have been if a certain blockhead (who? what? huh? Yeah, it was me.) didn't throw a wrench in the works. The scoop is that Ben almost slept through an entire night in his own bed. The wrench? My boob. Let's just start from the beginning before I mess this all up.

Soooo, Ben has the tiniest bit of a cold. Basically, just a runny nose but I count it as sick (let's remember we are the parents who took him to the emergency room for his first runny nose) so I'm treating it as such. Therefore, I didn't wake him up from his nap yesterday & just let him sleep until about 4.30pm. We did his normal routine a little late & he stayed up when Marcel got home for a little while so we could all play then he actually fell asleep in my arms on the couch, which never happens. He drank on just one side & fell asleep within a few minutes. I put him down after a bit & it was game on.

Normally he wakes up about every 2 hours & he went to sleep around 8.30pm so I expected him to wake up before midnight definitely if not much earlier. But nooooo. Finally I woke up around 2.30am & just laid there listening for him, convinced I somehow had missed him so I dragged myself up to make sure he was covered up properly, etc. I moved him around so I could get him under the blanket & his eyes fluttered open. Now here is where I should have walked away & he would have drifted right back to sleep but I am a selfish moron. My right breast was not a happy camper, hard as a rock (okay, that's a very slight exaggeration) & achy. So I decided giving him a quick feed would be best for both of us. So he fed & he fed & he fed, then I put him back down & he perked up a bit for some odd reason but I went back to bed & left him to squirm, babble, etc. himself back to sleep. Then I heard a *smack* then some crying so I ran in to kiss his blessed head (he often trips over his feet & smacks his head on the bed rails but nothing serious). So then we rocked & fed a bit more & both went to bed where he went through his entertain himself to sleep routine. And he didn't wake up until after 7.00 this morning! Tonight I shall exercise the age-old tradition of expressing my milk rather than getting him up for an unnecessary feed.

Now I do realize that his heavy duty sleeping may be because of his little dash of sickness & may never happen again so I'm holding on to it as the greatest night of our lives ... except for that hour interruption. Ben is also 13 months old today! Too bad he is cranky & getting into everything that drives me insane so I'm snapping at him, he's whining & crying & one of us needs a nap while the other needs a shower. Ah well, we will survive.

Fam Damily

It's 4.12pm & Ben has been asleep for almost 2 hours. Normally I make sure he's up by 3.30 or 4pm ... because that's when the baby books tell you to wake them up. Otherwise they'll never go to sleep. EVER. Or something like that. I think rules are meant to be broken when you're dealing with a sick kid. I kind of loved being sick when I was young - not in some weird attention-seeking way, just because staying home from school with my mom was the ultimate treat! I got to lounge around in my pj's, watch Regis & Kathy Lee with her (this was pre-Kelly obviously) & she always spoiled me a bit even though I could probably have managed to get things for myself, even when suffering from a cold. I felt like a princess on the couch all day with my mom. I'll be honest, she let me stay home once in a while even when she knew I wasn't really sick. Don't tell Ben but I can't wait to share that particular tradition with him. I might have to give in & have myself a daughter so I can download some Regis & Kelly episodes that we can watch together on sick days & make some macaroni & tomato, which was Mom's go-to quick lunch recipe. I still crave pasta with tomato sauce when I have a cold, which is what this is all about - my cold is setting in. I've just realized this post probably sounds like some tribute to my mother but don't worry, she's not sick or anything. I just miss my folks & it's funny the way it comes out sometimes!

So sick days remind me of my mom - what moments in life bring my dad to mind? He has taught me some extreme life lessons that as I get older, I find weren't always so true but apparently kept me under control. Here's a quick glance at my personal favorites:

1. Upon surprising me with a Jeep Wrangler when I was a teenager, he informed that if I went over 40 mph around a curve with said Jeep that I would tip over. Not that I could tip over but I actually would tip over. Many moons later when I was driving with Marcel (hmmm ... I think it was Marcel but it could have been some other dude whose memory I have replaced with my handsome husband), he asked why I slowed down so much around every curve. I was not pleased to learn that my darling father had made me look the fool every time I went cruising in my awesome Jeep that I'm pretty sure my mother chose for the sole reason that it was just like Cher's Jeep in the movie Clueless & she secretly hoped that I would transform into a little Alicia Silverstone & fall in love with Paul Rudd. And the movie Dinner with Schmucks looks so good I just might fall in love with Paul Rudd so victory on that one.

2. The car battery will die if you leave the door open, light on or radio playing for any amount of time. This is another quirk that drives Marcel crazy that was drilled into my head by Dad. I don't know if he had a bad history of car batteries dying & he had an irrational hatred of jumpstarting cars but there would be hell to pay if we didn't shut a door properly or just sat in a car with the radio running. I don't know why we wanted to do that anyway, now that I think about it. But anyway, to this day if we are sitting in the car for any reason & we have the doors open for a breeze or something I can not handle that tiny little light being on! I have to turn it off immediately, even though I know Marcel's ridicule will follow.

3. Opening house doors costs us money. I don't think Dad ever realized what a trailblazer he was in the green movement but he did not care for us wasting energy around the house. The summer & winter months especially were punctuated with his shouts of "CLOSE THE DOOR!" lest we let the air conditioning or heating out. I imagine there were many times that we would just leave the door open like hooligans but most of the time he would shout it even if we were actually going outside or telling someone something quickly. It was like an automatic reaction - door open, "SHUT THE DOOR," roll eyes, close door. But you know what? I don't care to waste energy in my own home now so lesson learned & it warms my heart to hear him yelling it at a whole new generation of hooligans.

I could go on about the lessons I've learned from my hilarious parents but I should go check on my own little guy. I just hope that I am lucky enough to find the balance that my parents found where they were awesome parents that protected us but managed to be great friends to us & let us learn most of life's lessons the way we needed to learn them. Except for the above few because let's face it, I could get my heart broken the old fashioned way or skin my entire stomach from an unfortunate skateboard accident but a girl needs her father to know that leaving that radio on in the car means trouble.

16 June 2010

Testing, testing ...

Thought I should test my poor computer out as Ben just tossed it off the side of the couch. All looks okay so far but I'm convinced it shouldn't have survived such a beating. Ugh. It's that kind of day. He has spent half of it pushing things out the pet door, then trying to get them back, then whining & crying when he can't figure it out. Then he pushes something else out & the cycle continues. Lovely.

We're both getting a bit sick. He's been snotty for a couple of days & not wanting to eat much, now I've got a tickly throat & have zip, zero, nada energy. Neither of us are good company - I think he actually feels sick, whereas I am just furious at the thought that I might be getting sick. Still breastfeeding so still can't take any actual medicine to make me feel better. Panadol, Vitamin C & saline nasal drops don't help much my friends. And the fact that Ben becomes a wobbly toddling mess when he's tired has meant a few small disasters - falling & smacking his mouth on my knee, lots of tripping & of course running into things. And ding dang, the boy has just put my phone out the pet door. It's nice & sunny today but chilly so if he would keep some shoes on his feet, it would be a good day to play outside but not taking a sickly little thing barefoot out there. Therefore, we're getting cabin fever. It's 3.10pm & I have only just showered & dressed for the day.

Luckily, we had a super productive weekend. Got lots of plants for our backyard, did some weeding & cleaned the pool. Finally made it to Salvation Army, where we found an awesome lamp for $7 - now we just have to actually wire it! And an awesome little side table for our loungeroom, which I'm trying to decide whether to paint it white. It would look killer in white, especially with the new lamp on it but the current brown matches our other table. Anyway, also got a side table to match our new outdoor daybed. Did I tell you we got one? I probably told you twice - my brain is gone. It's quite lovely & it was a great price but I have got to replace the terrible little pillows it came with so it will be nice & cushy as it should be. Such a perfect place to relax outside in the sun. If any of these areas of our house ever actually get finished, I will post some pictures. We have so many grand plans but for every one thing we buy, move or paint we suddenly have two more to take care of. I'm especially excited about the landscaping - every time we go roam around our grounds (can you call a small yard "the grounds?") we realize how much the people before us did & how much more we want to do! I will definitely post some pictures of it as we go as it actually looks good in progress.

Oh & there's still the joy of sleep training! Hilarious. Ben has apparently decided that his new bedtime is sometime around 9.30 or 10.00pm. Boo & hiss. No matter how much letting him cry we do, he never fully settles until around then. We've even given in & gone back to rocking & feeding in some moments of weakness but it doesn't bring his bedtime any earlier. We're not supposed to keep sleep training while he's sick but he's not fully sick yet & I've seen no difference in his rotten sleep patterns. Down by 10pm, up around 1am, then 3am, then 5am. At 5 I just bring him into our bed every morning to buy another hour or two but it's painful. Like literally painful - I forgot how bad my back can feel when I have a child attached to my boob. I don't think he likes sleeping with us anymore either is the weird thing. He's very restless in the early morning & just doesn't sleep peacefully. We can't win basically but we're persevering  & one day he'll be a happy little settled sleeper in his own bed & I won't have to wake up like he's an overgrown newborn. It will happen. Right? RIGHT???

Anyway, I think my computer is working fine & I have to go apologize to Ben because I just yelled ferociously at him because I thought he was going for the kitchen trash for the millionth time today but he wasn't. Mildly sick + puny from interrupted sleep = no patience. But it looks like he is trying to gargle a cracker so he must be okay.

09 June 2010

Here be booby dragons (consider yourself warned)

So, I should have seen this coming but I did not. Ben has been feeding less on me & eating lots more solids with his ever changing sleep training. This is a good thing for everyone involved, except the two lovely ladies that reside in my shirt. I forgot about the fact that if he's feeding less, then that milk isn't going anywhere so I am having a lovely night of breast care. One of them (I should name them to make this even more uncomfortable for you, huh?) was nice & rock hard so when Ben woke up after 3 hours of sleep, I had him drink off that one but after he went back to sleep I was checking everything out & I have a blocked milk duct on the other side so I'm currently massaging while kinda hoping Ben wakes up again so he can feed off of that side as soon as possible! I forgot about the dark side of breastfeeding because it's been a loooong time. Nothing compares to sitting on the couch, massaging breast lumps trying to free blocked ducts - there may or may not be squirted milk on the computer screen.

And while looking online for other remedies, a few of them mentioned that on top of feeding I'll need plenty of rest so it may be a good idea to let our baby sleep with us to make it easier!! Stupid jerks want to put me back to square 1. Oh well, I guess I'll be feeding him tonight instead of letting him soothe himself for my own selfish reasons but I'll aim to keep him in his bed ... unless it turns into a every 2 hour debacle again then I'll probably give up like last night. Again, I am not feeling guilty about my giving in decisions - I always put a lot of thought into it & realize the process will be much slower but my sanity is worth it in the long run.

A coworker of Marcel's has loaned us his old gas heater & it's warming us up wonderfully. But right now I swear I smell Little Debbie's Oatmeal Cream Pies in the air. Is that what it's supposed to smell like or is that the first sign of gas poisoning? I should probably go google that. Fingers crossed for a night full of sleeping babies & unclogged breasts - huzzah!

Humpty hump day

Just got back from a nice brisk walk. I know most of you prefer to be outside during summery sunny days but not me - give me a blustery cold day & I'll be grinning from ear to ear. Just walked up the way to the post office & to check out the little local supermarket. I was not so impressed but I meandered around for so long that I felt like I had to buy something (am I the only one who has this weird shopper's guilt?) so I bought eggs. Big lovely local free range eggs from the Hunter Valley. That made me think of the beautiful Hunter Valley, which is fairly self-explanatory I suppose. It's such a lovely corner of the world - one of the wine countries in Australia but even if you're wine drinker (shout out to all the Adventists in the house), the scenery is gorgeous & there's enough chocolate, cheese & olives to more than make up the difference. Hmmm ... chocolate, cheese & olives sounds like the greatest diet on earth to me!!

So on my wintery walk back from the shops, stopping every so often to put Ben's bloody socks back on & fight the blanket back over his legs, the Hunter Valley eggs made me start thinking of my favorite places that we've visisted but I couldn't really decide on one ... or five ... the world has some truly special corners. So instead of narrowing down any actual favorites, I'm just thinking where I would go if I could take off right now. I'm not in a busy city mood, which is strange for me, so Vegas, Vienna & New York are out. Hmmmm ... I think New Zealand might fit the bill today. I love that place, which has the most stunning, spectacular, amazing scenery that I've ever seen. Ah well, enough dreaming for one afternoon.

Sleep training is still going & is all over the place, I tell you. The wonderful little Benjamin put himself to sleep last night after about an hour of babbling to himself & some whining but no real crying like I expected. That went so well that I knew the night would be brutal & I was right - he was up every 2 hours bawling his eyes out & all around miserable. I fed him a couple of quick times & put him back down but was even crying softly in his sleep, which was heartbreaking. Around 3am I gave up & took him & myself back to bed with Marcel & he drank for a few minutes then slept peacefully until it was time to get up. While technically it was a failure, there was still progress because he didn't drink the whole time we were back in bed like he normally would.

Today was just weird. He was starting to get sleepy so I took him the chair to rock & drink a bit - he fell asleep, which is fine with me. I know it's slower going but I am selfish & want to enjoy rocking him to sleep for naps if I have to give the nights up for now. Anyway, I put him down after he was asleep & of course he woke right up so I left him to sort himself out. It did not work, much crying, whining, then maniacal laughter & playing around then back through the cycle. Eventually I just left & took a shower, etc. & put some toys in his crib. I could hear him still going through it all & then long breaks of silence so I think he may have gotten some quick sleeps in or at least some rest. He didn't go down for a second nap like he has been doing recently but whatever. Our walk probably messed that up.

I think I can hear him whacking our bedroom blinds around so I need to go put on my scolding Mama face & set that boy straight. Then I need to clean. Ugh, why doesn't anything stay clean & orderly??? I even went out & got Subway for lunch because I couldn't bear the thought of making food & adding more mess to the kitchen. I seriously clean that kitchen up every day but it never ever lasts more than a few minutes because there's always one more meal that needs to be made now that Ben is eating. And not having carpeted floors, every crumb he drops shows up ever so nicely. It's good in a way because we have to keep our floors cleaner than our old apartment carpets would have been. Oh my goodness, I am so sorry I'm rambling. I'm a little tired & honestly trying to avoid the cleanathon I need to start.

Now Ben is watching Playschool, which has a dog on it today. He's really getting into animals now, which I looooved because Marcel & I are both big animal people. He throws his animal books & stuffed animals at us all the time to make us make the noises. He's even started hissing now like a snake. He hasn't put it together when I say "What does a snake say?" but if I hiss first, he smiles & hisses right back. So freaking cute. He has also started patting his mouth while saying "Hawawawa" like the old stereotypical American Indian war whooping, which is probably so offensive. No idea where he go this talent except that he started it the day after we watched the Seinfeld episode where Jerry buys Elaine the cigar store Indian - hilarious episode but is my son actually honestly imitating Kramer now? Is this what I have ahead of me? We're in trouble.

Ah well, I'm really going now but not before I share with you my boy admiring the dog.
Oh little man, little man, you make me a happy lady.

06 June 2010


Last week we swayed off the sleep training trail pretty sloppily so it was my intention to get started back on the right track tonight. Ben had other plans because he decided last night that he didn't need sleep so I was forced to start the crackdown last night instead. So I will blame any rambling or nonsense in this blog on a bit of sleeplessness & anxiety.

Soooo, we went through his whole routine at the normal time & I was rocking him to sleep (remember, I hadn't yet started the night sleep training yet so still rocking/feeding). He nodded off fairly quickly but then woke up immediately when I put him down & fought sleep with both Marcel & me after that for about an hour. We were not in the right frame of mind to rock him for 2 or 3 hours like we have done on many occasions so we gave up & got him up while we watched a bit of TV & he played a bit.

Finally, around 9pm we gave him another go & he just wouldn't give in! He was so so so sleepy, his eyes kept closing but he'd struggle to keep them open & wiggle & rub/scratch his face & head to wake himself back up. I had finally had enough - I was annoyed but not mad so I thought it might be a good time to try him soothing himself since we weren't doing any good. Mind you by the time we got to this point it was around 10pm. Grrrrr.

After much to'ing & fro'ing about how to handle it since he had never done a night soothing by himself & never actually been successful during the day getting himself to sleep, I decided to bring a pillow & blanket & sleep in the comfy chair in his room so he had a bit of comfort. Blah blah blah, I am rambling. He cried for about an hour (yes, I gave him cuddles when he'd get worked up) but eventually it faded out & at 11.30pm he was asleep!! Still a bit of twitching & whimpering in his sleep but he was out. He slept until 3.30am, which was actually pretty good since he normally drinks all night to stay asleep. I gave him a quick feed then because the Family Care Cottage nurses said I'll probably have to give him a night feed or two while he was getting used to things. I dumped him right back in his bed when he nodded back off, which only took a few minutes, & he stayed asleep until 5.00am. I fed him again then because I wasn't 100% sure what to do - I figured the 3.30 feed was his "middle of the night" feed & the 5am feed was his "early morning, go back to sleep for heaven's sake" feed. Then he officially woke up at 7am. I'm not too proud to admit that I actually fed him again then just in case he would sleep a little bit more & give me a break but no good.

All that mumbo jumbo just to say, we've started the night sleep training & I have no idea if it's going well or not so I'll keep you posted. I'm very proud of my gorgeous little man but now I'm not so sure if I should keep fighting with his stupid naps or follow some of the people I read online who just did the night sleep training & just kept up rocking/feeding for naps. Something tells me I'll just figure it out when he either goes down easily or gives me another pain in the ass fight.

Ahhhh well, he's a good boy & one day we'll get caught up on our missed sleep. It may be many years from now but it shall happen. And I'm trying to focus on the bigger picture - you may have heard that one of our Socceroos (oh yes, our official soccer team is called the SOCCEROOS! Yikes) had to go home because his 4 year old was just diagnosed with leukemia. Life's just not fair I say. Suddenly sleep issues don't seem so bad.

Anyway, sorry you had to read such a boring blog. I wish I had some great ending to make it worth your while but alas, I've got nothing. Hope you're having a super day!

03 June 2010

zombie mama

Too tired to write a full post. Ben is a loon - only slept about 20 minutes yesterday & wouldn't go back to sleep after waking up. Grrrr. He went down pretty easily last night but woke up around 3.00am & tossed & turned & jibber jabbered & rolled around for a couple of hours. Sometime in there, I gave up & took him to his room to rock in the chair. After I got him calm again, I put him in his bed. He, OF COURSE, woke up immediately & started whining again. I left him in his bed & went back to the chair myself. He ended up whining, then playing, then whining, then playing & I just stayed in a half-asleep daze in the world's most comfortable chair. I finally actually went to sleep for a few minutes then woke up in a panic, wondering where the hell I was & where was Ben??? He was ASLEEP in his bed. Finally, he managed to put himself to sleep & with no bloody crying!! I covered him up & went back to bed then, which was around 5.00am & he woke up again around 6 or 6.30am but slept with us until Marcel was ready to go to work.

This is why I'm not writing anything else - I just reread that paragraph & it almost put me to sleep again. Ben is currently ripping up our local newspaper & showing no signs of slowing down today. I am praying that he naps decently today & I am also praying that my little spa calls me back with an opening for a massage tomorrow! I am beyond exhausted & uptight & in need of a very good rubdown. Let's face it, I would settle for them letting me lay on one of their massage tables in the dark room with tranquil music alone for an hour - I'll have to try that here if they don't have any appointments available.

Anyway, hope you're having a rosier day in your corner of the world & be sure to catch a Golden Girls episode (or a marathon if you're lucky) in honour of the late great Rue McLanahan!! I'm planning on finally moving our table & rug back outside to have dinner on The Lanai in her honour.