29 March 2010

Oooh, that's a bingo!

I will start by saying that I realize this blog is supposed to be about me & my mothering skills or lack thereof or developing them or whatever it is that is going on in my home every day. So I'll give you the 30 second rundown that all is fine with us - husband is awesome, I am awesome, Ben is awesome with the occasional side dish of trouble & a dash of refusing to nap on his own.

But last night we caught a break & Ben actually followed his routine of a bath at 6pm then rocking at 6.30pm & the boy was asleep IN HIS BED at 7pm. Managed to stay there for a while too so Marcel & finally got around to watching a DVD that we ordered from the Aussie version of Netflix, Bigpond. We watched Inglourious Basterds & I love, love, LOVED it. Seriously. Never really cared to see it until I saw some clips during the Oscars so added it to our list. I'll give you the warning that there is a chance that we've become those people who see very few movies so everytime we see one it's suddenly the greatest movie that ever was made. But really, I love this one. It was refreshing to see a movie so well-made & fun & well-acted & didn't give a damn about historical accuracy.

*If you would like to bow out of this blog now, I will excuse you. Otherwise you're about to take a little stroll through the mind of Ashley Eisele & it's bound to be painful.*

One odd note about this movie is that I've never found Brad Pitt more attractive in my life. And I'm not one of those girls who never found him attractive to begin with - I always appreciated his looks. It took me about half of the movie until I could put my finger on it. I leaned over to Marcel & whispered "He reminds of Tom Skerritt in this movie." Actually, I didn't whisper because we were on our own couch so I think I just took some literary/blogerary creative license there. I probably didn't lean over either. So basically I said "Hey, he reminds me of Tom Skerritt in this movie." Marcel knew that meant trouble because deep inside of me is the crush of a lifetime on one Mr. Tom Skerritt. It makes my crush on Tom Bergeron seem like nothing & that's saying a lot because we all know that I love America's Funniest Home Videos (no, I do not care for Dancing with the Stars but I'll forgive Bergeron for that.) Anyhoo, back to Skerrit.

I'll be honest, I can't even hear the name Tom Skerritt without thinking of Shelby's Blush & Bashful wedding in Steel Magnolias. When he's lost his hearing from shooting at birds in the magnolia trees so he shouts "HER MOTHER & I DO!" when the pastor asks who gives the bride away. Good stuff even if the wedding truly was pank & pank. That's pink in my native language.

And sure, he may have been overshadowed in Top Gun by a young & handsome Tom Cruise & a young & handsomer Val Kilmer & even handsomer still the guy who played Slider. Slider gave us all some sweet dreams, am I right ladies??

And do you remember that Skerritt & Pitt shared the screen in the wonderful A River Runs Through It? I bet you forgot about that one! I didn't. This was my first introduction to that young handsome Brad Pitt & really, what's not to love about this kid?

In that one Tom Skerritt plays a Presbyterian minister, which is not the sexiest of occupations but he still pulls it off with panache. If I'm using that word incorrectly please let me know.
Add Robert Redford's luxurious narrating voice to this already winning combo & you have one beautiful Ashley-loving trifecta.

Now Google Images has let me down considerably as it came up with only one photo of Mr. Pitt in his tuxedo from Inglourious Basterds & it ain't a good 'un. But here you go:
I labelled it pittdumbface.jpg when I saved it to my computer for good reason. Anyhoo, now here's Mr. Skerritt from Top Gun in his dress whites:
Very similar, yes? Do they call these dress whites or did I just make that up? And WHY are some of these not centered? It says that all my photos are in the center but they most certainly are not in the center of anything! But anyway, point made - I am more than a little disturbed that my type is a man with overly southern accent in white suit with a mustache. Thank goodness I'm married you'd find me trawling every formal event on the bayou!

And I had to spend a little chunk of the movie on imdb.com for two reasons:

1. It kept me distracted from the violent parts of the movie. I can't handle gory bloody stuff & this is Tarantino so I knew what I was getting into. But really not as bad as I expected.

2. Seriously, we've seen so few movies this year & we are becoming old farts that say "Who is that? I know I've seen him before." then we'd argue over whether the guy with the big eyebrows was the guy from the most recent Star Trek movie - me insisting that it was (it wasn't) while Marcel who actually saw the Star Trek movie said it wasn't. My whole argument was based on wanting to say Zachary Quinto's name as often as possible - keento is how I pronounce it. Keento, Keeento, Keeeeeeeento. But then it was actually Eli Roth, which didn't help us at all & it's not nearly as fun to say. Then I couldn't remember whether the Austrian actor ended up winning the Oscar or just every other supporting actor award (he did win & he deserved it). He's awesome. 

And now I just spent several seconds trying to highlight & delete what I thought was a wild & mysterious apostrophe with a mind of its own but it was just lint on the screen. I think it may be time for me to get off of the old computer while I still have a few brain cells left. I would heartily suggest you watch Inglourious Basterds but something tells me that everyone on earth except us saw it like a year ago so I'd be wasting my breath. 

25 March 2010

I'll just need my shoe horn.

I'm just watching Neil Patrick Harris playing a shoe fairy on Sesame Street. Man, this show is sure on the pulse. Ben eats up every episode - he's going to be a song & dance man when he grows up. Do they still have song & dance men these days? Besides Neil Patrick Harris & Hugh Jackman that is? 

So I took my walk yesterday morning, which is my first ever morning walk. I like the concept - it did seem to get my day going well & I liked having it out of the way. One giant problem is that there is no breeze in the morning here! How can that be? I walk right beside the stinkin' ocean so I'm not sure how there can be no sea breeze at any time, especially on a nice cool morning. So I may have to go back to the evening until it cools down more. Grrrr, can't just be easy.

I'm doing well with my house PowerPoint presentation - it's definitely getting my decorating brain in order. I may be having a little too much fun with the stupid thing since I haven't done any kind of spreadsheet, presentation or report in almost a year since I've been off work. I do miss doing that kind of thing so I'll have to do them for myself more often. That's really sad, isn't it? 

Okay I'm going to run. I know I started to write this today for some reason but can't remember if there was something of substance I was actually going to tell you. I doubt it, I'm a boring lady. I need some water.

24 March 2010


I think I ruined my son's afternoon nap. We went to grab some groceries for dinner tonight & I went to feed him so he'd sleep but I did something that made him crack up. Now, I will admit that I am a ham. There is very little I won't do to earn a laugh so having my own son & heir laugh at my stupid antics just gave me more ammunition. 30 minutes later we were both cracking up hysterically - him at my fake snoring & dramatic shrieking when he pulled my hair & me eating up his gorgeous raucous laughter. No nap so now he's bouncing around the loungeroom & I can tell he's a little overtired - his scary delirious Jack Nicholson eyes & aimless laughter give him away.

What the hell is nattering? I'm watching Playschool & the whole episode is talking about sea turtles & they keep saying "nattering turtle" & "the turtles go natter, natter, natter." Huh? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT!

Okay, here is the house - the online description called it A Slice of Paradise. Love that. Now, the current owners took one trip to Bali - ONE TRIP - & apparently thought they would base their whole decor on it. Not bad but definitely not my style. This is obviously a modern house & my style ain't so modern so it's going to be a bit of a challenge but I am so excited & am collecting all my ideas. This house is going to be awesome I tell you!! After that bragging I will take a step back by saying it's a small house - these pictures even make it look a bit bigger than it actually is. There is a 3rd small bedroom that isn't pictured (will be an office) & a garage but everything else is there.

Welcome Home

Master Bedroom
The current owners are a big fan of the textured feature walls so we'll be repainting a lot, which is fine with me. Also going to replace all those round light fixtures.

Ben's bedroom 
You can't see the textured feature wall in this photo but it's there!

Entryway (through the left arch) & dining
Yeah, lots of island decor. This is such a weird shaped room but I really love it & can't wait to figure out how to furnish it properly. Should be interesting!

In the picture above, this is the room on the other side of the entryway arches. They have a small pet door in the sliding door so maybe we'll have to get ourselves a small dog. Maybe not.


I am happy about that wall of windows overlooking the backyard. Also like the granite countertops but it's about the exact opposite of what I've always wanted in a kitchen, which is bright white. But I will find a way to personalize this one because it's fairly awesome.

Pool, built-in BBQ & balinese umbrella. Lots of landscaping all around as well, which is beautiful.

Yes, it's a patio. I get it but if the Golden Girls can call their patio The Lanai, then I shall call my patio The Lanai. I am going to decorate the hell out of The Lanai!

P.S. I have a new terrible reason to exercise. A few minutes ago I was squatting on the ground, leaning over to clean something off the couch when Ben snuck up on me & started grabbing my back love handles/haunches. Then he leaned over & started sucking on one - he must have thought I was hiding a second set of breasts back there. Yikes.

23 March 2010

Because you're bastard people. - Waiting for Guffman

Signs that confirm I am in fact a mother:

1.   I mess up the lyrics to every song on the radio. We are talking E-V-E-R-Y song, even ones I have known all my life. I remember my mom doing this when I was young & it drove me bananas but now I realize she had no control over it. Mothers can not retain song lyrics.

2.   I confuse my son & husband's names. Bencel & Marjamin will get sick of this eventually.

3.   I've developed an incredibly high tolerance for kid's TV & music. I have even had lengthy conversations about why Giggle & Hoot are vastly superior to the irritating High-5 or the Wiggles. I am shocked that you don't know who Giggle & Hoot are:

Okay, I'm too tired to keep listing things. Last night was another rough night with Ben - took a good few hours to get him to sleep for good but at least once he was down he was doooown with less sleep drinking than other recent days. No good napping today, though. He'll fall asleep in my arms but the very instant he touches the bed he springs to life, which is so so so irritating. I am giving myself a pep talk for tonight - I have nothing else to do so I will stay rocking him as long as I have to without losing my cool. I will not throw my phone at the wall or the bookshelf or any other surface where a phone should not be thrown. His other front top tooth is finally peaking through, one little corner has broken through the skin. All of his other teeth have come through within a couple of days of when we first spot them but this one has taken a few weeks so we've decided that's causing all the commotion with his weird sleeping. It's not us, it's the damn tooth!! Maybe not but we'll comfort ourselves that way & if it's still terrible next week then I'll look for another excuse ... I mean I'll break down & do some sleep training. They have a Family Care Cottage in Gosford so I might try to book us in there so they can help me sleep train him instead of having me sobbing my eyes out every night! A professional holding my hand would be delightful.

So it's 4pm at the moment. In one hour our cooling off period will be over & we will officially have bought a house! Yes, that's my big news. And actually we don't close until 20 April so maybe that's when we'll officially own a house but whatever. The finances have gone through, everyone has signed contracts, inspections have been done, blah blah bloody blah. I am so excited about this house! Yes, I realize it is a sign of doom & gloom for my mom but we did put some effort into looking for jobs in America & it turns out there are none. So we thought it wise to plant our roots here for a couple of years until things settle down a bit more. And this house is fairly awesome - I'll post pictures later tonight or tomorrow when my son isn't tempting death by balancing against our recycling bin & trying to pull things out of it! I think you'll like the place.

Anyhoo, off to save a baby from a painful recycling incident. 

21 March 2010

No good at 8am

I have a feeling today is going to be a bad one. Not being negative, just keeping it real. Ben has been a tough sleeper recently, basically he just stays on me & drinks alllll night. It's very exhausting & makes me rethink this co-sleeping nonsense. I rethink it about once a week don't I? It's a bit of a nutty time for the next month or so but after that I really am buckling down & figuring out this sleep crap. There will be probably be tears, most will be mine, but I've got to get this boy sleeping better. And eating better. Crap, this mothering business is rough on the nerves!

We have made a tiny bit of progress on the eating front. He's trying more things & actually swallowing them - still not more than a bite or two but we're making progress. Yesterday at breakfast he had a couple of bites of scrambled eggs & about the same of avocado. Then last night he had some of my eggplant & now a big bite of my bagel this morning (which I now have to pronounce baggle thanks to the genius show that is Community).

So anyway it's going to be a bad day because I didn't sleep well last night at all - we were keeping Marcel up with our restlessness so at 11pm I put Ben in his bed & slept in the rocking chair for an hour then we went back to bed when he woke up crying, where Ben sucked down milk constantly (well, it felt like constantly but I have no concept of time when I'm waking up/sleeping/waking up/sleeping) until he started squirming at 6am. So we went back to the rocking chair together where he slept peacefully until 7am. Then he was happily playing & somehow managed to trip over his own feet & smack his face on the very hard edge of the couch. Now when I bruise it's always a blob no matter what I hit. Ben gets bruises in the exact shape of whatever got him. He currently has a deep red rectangle with impressions of where the seams were & it's going to be a bruise by the end of the day. Nothing more awesome than going out with a child that has long squared off bruises - it looks like I've karate chopped him across the cheek.

Trying to think how I can cut this bad day off before it gets going - may have to make those darn cupcakes I was jabbering about yesterday & maybe a quick window shopping trip. But at the moment I am smelling something quite suspicious so I should go do the bit of mothering that I am managing to do correctly!

20 March 2010

To: S. Bullock, Hollywood California

Dear Sandy,

I am writing to follow up on my numerous attempts to make you my very best friend. I know you're going through a rough patch at the moment & I think the best thing for you would be a nice Australian getaway where you can hang out with me, my adorable son & the beach. I have a box of cupcake mix that I plan on using but I can save it for when you come around if you prefer. Do you like cookies & cream? Who doesn't, AM I RIGHT?!? Hahahahaha.

We can also use your superstar power to recruit the other potential very best friend that would round out our trio:

Doesn't Ava Jackman look like a hoot? We could all eat cupcakes, watch terrible TV and talk about why boys are dumb. We don't have to talk about the Bombshell situation if you'd rather not but the cupcakes are not optional. Greatest day ever.

Anyhoo, when you're ready for a chat you know how to reach me. Until then, good luck with everything and keep that gorgeous chin up - we're all on your side.


So nothing much going on over here obviously. It's a quiet, hot Sunday. Ben's running around with no diaper on, which thrills his soul. You know what thrills my soul? Not cleaning up baby pee puddles on the carpet. Fingers crossed.

I do have cupcakes to make - I have lofty goals for Ben's birthday party & Marcel has convinced me to try making cupcakes or a cake myself so we're doing some trial runs because I don't have faith in my baking skills. I would rather pay a small fortune for something beautiful & tasty but sometimes the boy is right. *sigh* Still haven't (interruption: Ben is currently rolling on the ground naked, giggling like a loon) settled on the theme for the party because I have new one or two every day. It's going to be a mess I imagine. Ah well, at least there's only going to be like 6 people there.

Hmmmm ... nothing else going on. I should log off & sit by my phone in case Sandra or Ava give me a ring. Have a beautiful weekend wherever you are!

And seriously how cute is Ava Jackman?

17 March 2010

the night is yours alone

It's been a long day & it's still not over. Almost had Ben asleep when Marcel got home late from work. Ben lives to see Marcel at the end of the day so was very excited when he heard that door open! Poor Marcel is now stuck in the rocking chair trying to bring the boy back to sleep - it's 8.40pm & something tells me that it's going to be a loooong night. And we still have to watch Lost!

It's funny to look at this apartment after the day has finished if I haven't had time to straighten up as we go. The kitchen looks like a tornado hit it & that's just from fixing spaghetti, nothing special or complicated & I did the bloody dishes before I made the meal. Since Marcel's been rocking Ben, I've put some clean clothes up to dry & more in the dryer, then picked up every toy that Ben owns that were strewn about the loungeroom. Cleaned up spaghetti sauce that he yanked out of my bowl, water that he tipped over & ground up breadstick/rusk thing that one of us stepped on (probably me) & he enjoyed mashing the crumbs. Needless to say it was one of those hectic days where you can't tell which way was up - probably just the universe testing me since I have no job I can run back to now! Oh well, it's all still good & Ben ate a good chunk of a roll with sauce on it so one small victory at least. If I can just manage to get a source of iron into him, I'll be happy but he seems to recognize that & refuse at all costs. Turd.

Ben seems to be getting louder & higher pitched back there so I should probably go rescue Marcel or just bring the boy's squealy behind out here to fall asleep during Lost so he can be with us. Sweet little monkey would probably appreciate knowing what his namesake is up to this week on the show anyway & I can amuse him with tales about how I really wanted to name him Sayid. Hahahaha - that's probably funny to exactly one of you but I'm putting it out there.

Happy trails!

16 March 2010

Hear ye, hear ye

So it turns out there is one solid food that Ben will eat happily. French fries. Of course he would wolf them down just to make sure I am the worst mother ever. I realise that they're warming up a nice place in Mommy Hell for me for even letting my almost 10 month old try french fries, let alone having more than one. I hate that he loves them but there's a tiny sick part of me that is secretly delighted that he is actually eating something & enjoying it. And normally he likes something exactly once then never wants it again but noooo, he actually dances & laughs while eating them & comes back for more. No, I don't give him more than 2 or 3 tiny ones & I bite the crunchy ends off. Not sure why but I saw Marcel do it so I thought it made sense. And let's face it, it's not the oil or salt or general evilness of the fries that will do him in, it's the crunchy ends.

And I know you were dying to ask so I'll save you the trouble & tell you that Mommy Hell is much like regular Hell except with more guilt ... and more In the Night Garden. I imagine in Mommy Hell we would have to live as characters from In the Night Garden while the smarmy voiceover guy narrates our lives with that ever so disappointed British voice as we suffer. "Everyone is in bed. Wait ... someone is not in bed ... Ashley Pashley's not in bed. Naughty Ashley Pashley." And then the Ninky Nonk will run me over or I'll have to tell a story about the Porkney Pines or whatever those little wooden people are called. H-E-L-L! Normal Hell will look like a luau from where I'm going.

So why am I eating french fries & drinking a frozen Coke after my second day of walking? Because I officially quit my job today & I'm very sad. You probably thought I had already quit but no, I hadn't because I didn't want to give up that awesome job. Those who know much about my work there know that I love, love, loooovvvved that bloody job & every time I see one of our clients on TV or in a magazine I get excited. But now I won't get to know what So & So is up to or get to suffer through them being a such & such. And yes, I'm still bound to a confidentiality agreement so I still won't be telling stories about So & So being a such & such but I'm going to miss every fun & sometimes agonising minute of it!! And unfortunately for you, I will still obnoxiously point at every person on TV or in the press & say "They're an RGM client" like you give a rat's ass.

So there, after many months of having absolutely no news for you besides "I'm going to join a gym," shortly followed by "Gyms are stupid, I'm going to walk" I have actual news. And this is not the happy stuff that I mentioned a blog or two ago - I'll let you know about that next week. It's not another baby I should point out. My mom called a very short time after I posted that blog - apparently she's decided to read my blog these days & harassed me over what my news was. So I guess if you live in middle Tennessee you already know my news.

Okay, I'm off to clean the kitchen before Marcel gets home & to fight with Ben as I try to put his toys away - he likes to follow me & mess up every thing I straighten of his. Luckily my work at RGM helping with some of the more difficult clients (& there were very very few that I would call difficult)(& let's be honest, I loved even the difficult ones) gave me the patience I practice every day with my current & by far most adorable client, Benjamin Hewson Eisele.

15 March 2010

Monday, Monday

Have you ever watched In the Night Garden? If you're considering having children, watch this show first as it may make you rethink the whole concept knowing that your son or daughter will want to watch this drivel. They don't speak real words, just high pitched noises & there's a smarmy British narrator who always seems shocked when the stupidly named creatures don't do what they're supposed to do. Ninky Nonk, Pinky Ponk, Akka Pakka, Iggle Piggle & all their cutesy wutesy friends - I want to kick them all in the shins!

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, all else is good today. Managed a quick walk, though I refuse to make big claims about getting fit because that is some sort of kiss of death for me. I would like to walk every day now so we'll just see how I go. It was nice to get back to my circle to spy on the Terrigal folks that are out & about fishing, surfing, swimming, walking with their own babies. Love seeing what everyone else is up to.

Also managed to clean our bedroom, do 3 loads of laundry (with several more to go)(we have a small washer/dryer) & just need to do the world's dirtiest kitchen. I can't do dishes while Ben is sleeping because somehow that noise travels down our long hallway & directly into his ears. Bizarro. At the moment I am working on some designs for Benny's birthday invitations - fun, fun, fun. I always feel the creative juices flowing but I can't figure out how to get that creativity out of me!! The invites are as awesome as they looked in my brain so I'm going to have to get Marcel to help me with his design-addled mind.

But now I'm signing off to play with my boy. The older he gets, the goofier & more hysterical he gets. He's way too tall now - reaching things way above his head. He's so much fun now but I do miss that tiny little lump of a baby that I got to cuddle all day every day! Aw well, I'm going to enjoy every minute of him before he's too old & cool to hang out with his old mama.

13 March 2010

Sleepless in Terrigal

Oh Benny. Benny, Benny, Benny - what are we going to do with you?

Poor boy is having some weird sleep issues recently. He gets very restless in his sleep - rolling around a lot, which is not a big deal, but then also getting up & crawling around the bed or pulling himself up on the headboard & talking away. Sometimes he appears to be asleep when he does this, sometimes he seems wide awake. Most of the time I can lay him down beside me & give him milk & he immediately goes back to sleep calmly but it starts up again. This isn't all the time, it's happened maybe 3 times but last night was terrible. I finally gave up on sleeping around 3am because he was either wandering around or attached to my milk jugs so I was exhausted. Marcel ended up rocking him around 4am & we gave him some Panadol just in case he was having teething issues that were waking him up. I stole him around 4.30am for more milk & rocking, then settled him sound asleep in his crib where he slept until 7am. I slept in the Catnapper chair right next to him, which is pretty darn good place to sleep I have to say! He only woke up for a few minutes at 7 & I rocked him right back to sleep until almost 9am.

A hearty pat on the back to you if you managed to get through that boring sleep log! Long story short, it may be time to move the boy to his own bed so we can all sleep a little more soundly & my boobs can have a break at night. It's going to be painful, I know. We'll miss him in the bed & he is going to be pisssssed at us! I do realise that the whole letting him cry thing is a perfectly healthy way to sleep teach & I pass absolutely no judgment on anyone who can do it but I won't be trying that out myself. I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do besides put him in his bed & run to my own. When he wakes up, do I feed him or just try to settle him? Can I start with just putting him in his bed but still doing the night feeds THEN deal with that next? Why does it sound like I'm going to be getting less sleep in this whole thing? We have a few things going on at the moment so we might have to wait to start this grand experiment but I'm getting my head into it now so I'm ready when the time comes!

I've got a lovely smelling cinnamon roll bread cooling in the kitchen right now & a glass of cold water with lime beside me so at least I'm starting the day off right! I'm going to try to ignore the many hours of missed sleep last night & focus on what we've got planned for the day - have to pick up the ginormous mirror we bought on Friday (it was on clearance), which has the potential to go very stooge-esque & we get to meet a friend's newborn baby, Thomas! There's nothing in life that a glimpse of a baby can't solve. That's really not accurate at all but I am very excited to meet little Tommy boy!

So, how am I going to handle the current stress & bad sleep? I will follow the wise words written for another Tom, Mr. Tom Hanks in a movie called Sleepless in Seattle (Oh Ashley, you witchy woman always find a way to bring this full circle): Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breath in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out...

And don't worry about me, I'm really not that stressed - good things are happening & I'll give you an update later. xoxo

11 March 2010

Napkins & such

I'm listening to the joyful noise of Marcel humming as high pitchedly (it's my blog, I'll make up words if I want to) as possible while trying to get a certain monster to sleep. Every once in a while Ben has a very restless evening and just decides sleep is not in the cards - we've done it all, each of us has rocked him, I've fed him a gazillion times, bathed him, all the normal routine. We've given up & let him play but that just gives him more superbaby powers to fight sleep so now we're back to rocking.

This was my first day alone with him now that the Eisele's are safely back in DC. Ben is so sick of me already! He is in full-on Dad mode tonight & turns his back to me when I put out of my hands to take him. Fair enough, little turd, but there's no milk in that man so unless you've suddenly decided to eat real food like everyone else your age, you are going to be one unhappy camper if you ignore your mother. Too bad he can't read or this would be some heavy-hitting stuff.

I bought some birthday napkins for Ben today. That's right, napkins. I was at Borders & they were there & they were gorgeous. Just bright bold "Happy Birthday" in a cool font & I have seen some similar invites online that Marcel & I (okay, just Marcel) can recreate so that can be our theme - colorful letters. That sounds super lame & again, he won't be reading by his first birthday so I doubt he'll be thinking "Wow, awesome font/colorful letter party." So yeah, probably not an ideal theme but at least it's something that doesn't revolve around robots, pirates or any other generic boy things so I'm running with it! And yes, I buy napkins at bookstores. WHAT?

Okay, Marcel has worked his magic & the boy is asleep so I'm off to bed. Happy trails!

10 March 2010

In like a lion.

The most brilliant people in the world is a band called The Bird & The Bee. They are brilliant but they are jerks. They are releasing (probably already released in the US) an album called Interpreting the Masters: Volume 1 (A Tribute to Darryl Hall & John Oats). Reading this news caused me to curse out loud and cross another of my life's goals off the list because someone else stole the idea & had the energy to chase down Hall & Oates for their permission to redo their songs. And they've done it well so I suggest you take a listen for yourself but as you listen be sure to shake your first because you know I would have done it better ... if I had any musical ability whatsoever. I will admit that I had a similar disappointment in 8th grade the first time I heard Fiona Apple's Shadowboxer. I can actually honestly remember a 13 or 14 year old me hearing it on the radio & thinking "Crap, there goes my music career" because that was the song that had been in my head for years but I could never get to come out of me. WHY AM I CURSED TO NEVER CREATE (OR COPY) AWESOME MUSIC??

Okay, now that that's out of my system let's move on to more important things. Ben's Oma & Opa have left the country, which is very sad. It's hard enough for Marcel & me to let them go because they're fun & the easiest houseguests on earth (well, Ilse may be easier but who's counting) but poor Ben is having a much harder time than us. He fell in love with his grandparents, especially his blasted Opa. No offence to his Oma of course & let's face it I'm at the bottom of the pile so she can't be offended! But Herbert used some Austrian voodoo to bewitch that child and he had a constant puppy at his heels. He's happy this afternoon but I do catch him looking around like perhaps his loving mother isn't quite good enough for him anymore. I've got some work to do to get my reputation back up to speed.

Apparently Ben is going through another growth spurt. I was looking online because he has been waking up at night a bit & eating more than usual. Sure enough it's another stinking spurt! The people online were talking about how much food their babies were suddenly eating while they're going through this little spell - twice as much cereal, extra fruit, blah blah blah. I would give anything for Benny boy to be eating bloody cereal or any kind of food that doesn't come out of me. I am exhausted & feel like a milking machine. He is eating a few more cheerios, now up to about 7 or 8 instead of 2 or 3 so we're obviously making awesome amounts of progress.

Ooooh, I have to download Lost. Another week, another chance to try to figure what on earth is going on. Love, love, love that stupid show. From the very beginning I had my money on Sayid to be good so last week through me for a loop! I can't wait to find out what Ben's deal is - Ben the character not my son. My son may or may not be named after the character but whatever. And by 'my son' I do mean 'our son.' Sorry, I'm bad about that.

Sorry to be brief - have had a busy couple of days and have a wild little child to chill out. Happy day to you!

08 March 2010

The Ashley Experience ... just like you were with me.

Watching the Oscars alone at the moment while Oma & Opa have taken Ben for a quick run to Terrigal so I will share my commentary with you instead. Debbie made an apple strudel & it smells like heaven so I figure blogging is a good idea - idle hands & all that. Please note I have started a little late in the proceedings.

* Cameron Diaz is hot.

* Just cackled way too loud at Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin introducing Miley & that Seyfried girl whose first name I can't remember not knowing who they are. I think the cackling was just pure joy that they're showing the Oscars live here & both Steve & Alec are in my top ten favorite actors of all time. If Alec had joined the cast of Three Amigos I would died happily at a very early age.

* Am I crazy or is Miley Cyrus quite beautiful? Why have I never noticed this before? Always assumed I should not like her but maybe I'm wrong? I'm still not crazy about Seyfried but have only seen her in Big Love, which makes me nervous & Mamma Mia & I was having contractions through that so haaaated it & its damn perkiness.

* In a wonderful weird world Tina Fey & Robert Downey Jr. would have a daughter & Ben would marry her. I want to spend holidays with them.

* Do you guys hear the weird talking in the "quiet" cuts during the ceremony? I think Australia is somehow patched in to some lackey's headset.

* Shit, these people are going to make me watch The Breakfast Club ... again. And every time I see a single moment of Home Alone, I crave cheese pizza.

* Up was one of the best movies I've seen in years! Nevermind that I've seen like 4 movies this year.

* Watch your back Carey Mulligan, I'm coming for your hair.

* Ummm, what just happened with Prudence? I realise that woman won too but she just knocked dude out of the way & was enjoying his sweet speech.

Everyone's back & now feeding Benny so pecking with my left hand. No good typing with one finger.

* Okay, Ben Stiller making me giggle but now needs to go.

* Very cool to see Jesse James on the front row of the Oscars - Brent will be proud.

* I don't find Jake Gyllenhaal attractive for some odd reason - I get that he's got all the right requirements but it doesn't work for me. Rachel McAdams more than makes up for it.

* I want Precious to win everything. I can never watch it because I would boo hoo too much. I'm about to boo hoo now.

* I want a wall of lampshades please.

* I also want Mo'nique's hair & hair flower. Stunning.

* Have you seen An Education? Looks pretty good.

* It appears that Tom Ford may need glasses, squinting ain't good. I imagine they would be fabulous but masculine. And someone please fix Keanu Reeves' patchy beard.

* That hotel sleep montage was our place last night. On an unrelated note, baby for sale!

* Is Jaws horror? Then I guess I like one horror movie. All others ruin my sleep for days.

* Oh Zac Efron, you are beautiful! If science could mix your pretty face with Morgan Freeman's voice, the world would be a magic place. Yes creepy but still magic.

* Okay now I finally want to see Inglourious Basterds. I am a bit behind the times this year.

* Why would they not show clips of the cinematography nominees? And why won't Sandra Bullock return my phone calls? BFF possibilities, lady!

* Just about to comment on the beauty of Demi's dress when she sneak attacked me with James Taylor. Lordy, I miss Patrick Swayze.

* MAJOR NEWS: Benny is holding on to the TV cabinet (just woke up) & is dancing along with the whatever this dancing portion of the show is. I was in the kitchen getting apple strudel & missed the introduction but Jennifer Lopez looked caliente! I still think Sam Worthington seems a bit of a turd regardless of his Aussie blokeness. Does The Hurt Locker really feature popping & locking or is that artistic license I see?

* Gerard Butler & Bradley Cooper is a jerk sandwich in my opinion. I base this on NOTHING but they both look like jerks to me. I hope I'm wrong. And did James Cameron require everyone who worked on his movie to call him a genius in thank yous? I know for a fact that he's a jerk - personal experience from many moons ago (well, okay, client of a client of a client).

* Oooooh, the show is redeemed from jerkdom by the mere presence of Jason Bateman.

Strudel was amazing & Ben is back on the boob. I think he would feed all day off of his mommy trough if I could physically stand it. On a side note, just saw an online picture of Victoria Beckham in sweat pants & flip flops going to see a movie. That miniscule change in the earth's axis must be responsible.

* Hellloooo Matt Damon!

* Alec + Steve + slanket = joy

* Seriously someone please convince Keanu to either shave or add some fake fur to that patchy mess. Otherwise, Ted still works for me. Excellent! *screechy guitar noises*

Okay, Ben had a major meltdown so I'm just now back for the best actress.

*My mom loooves Stanley Tucci she told me recently. I thought this was interesting for some odd reason. I love Sean Penn, the grouch. So handsome in that ... HA HA HAHA!! I love Sandra Bullock just pulled that kiss away from Meryl Streep. *sigh* Now she's never going to call me back. But seriously Sandra, let's grab all the other best actress nominees & go to Olive Garden! Carey Mulligan will tell me that her hair would look better on me & Gabby & I would just roll our eyes at how cool it is to hang out with Helen Mirren & Meryl Streep. Then I would eat my salad & eggplant parmesan & all would be good.

Now Ben is still melting down after his bad night last night. (sidenote: where did Barbra come from??) We know it's bad when he is crying with Opa who he adores a little too much for my taste. Jealous much, Ashley?

Yay Hurt Locker. Again, I will never watch it but I respect its awesomeness.

In case this was all too much for you, here's you Moment of Ben Zen:

05 March 2010

curiouser & curiouser

I had a bit of an anxiety attack today and feel like a jackass. I do like the phrase "anxiety attack" because it makes me feel like I was the victim of it, like a stealthy ninja's prey, instead of bringing it upon myself by worrying about big things and then panicking over the little things. Long story short (we'll skip my sulking, crying & frantic cleaning), Marcel & his parents have taken Ben to the reptile park while I am kicked back on my well made bed in my dusted bedroom, simmering down after eating some cookie dough. And no, they didn't take Ben out of fear that I would sweep him up or bleach him or something heinous - it was originally the plan to go there but I opted out to deal with the crazy. I miss him terribly.

Oma & Opa babysat him yesterday at the mall while Marcel & I had our first official post-baby date!! Nine months isn't that long is it? I probably could have waited until he moved out of home in many many years but realise that clingy doesn't look good on me. So we went to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. Love, love, loved it. Maybe I'm biased because the gorgeous Mia Wasikowska (Alice) is an RGM client & I remember the joy in the office when she got the part but she is awesome and I'm so excited for her. I also want half of her wardrobe from the movie and the super short haircut she has now. Go Mia go!

Nooooowwww, I have a photo of Marcel & me going to this movie but I'm hesitant to post it. Okay, I am going to post it but I'm going to add this paragraph of warning that it is not a true representation of us! I looked damn good yesterday - good hair day, skin was agreeing with me, makeup was nice, cute outfit, was even having a skinny day (that never happens to me anymore). So we popped on our 3D glasses for a cute, funny picture of young parents in love but somehow our picture turned out a couple of doofuses with double chins, ratty hair & 3D glasses. I must throw this camera away, I'm afraid.

We were so much better looking than this picture.

So anyway, that's life in a nutshell. I'm exhausted but not anxiety-riddled anymore & a cool breeze has picked up to lift my spirit. When everyone gets home, it will be time for the boy to eat & take his afternoon nap & I can apologize for being super cranky before they left. Marcel will make fun of me & I will have to remind him that making fun of me does not help the anxiety issue, then he'll probably make fun of me some more & everything will be okay.

Until then, I'm off to slay the jabberwocky ...

03 March 2010

cuteness ahead

There is something about Benjamin in jeans & a t-shirt. Just something about the sight of him today has made my heart grow two sizes & my mommy hormones go a little haywire. See what I mean:

And if that's not enough to make your ovaries start twitching, may I introduce exhibit B:
I spent about an hour in the kitchen this afternoon with my apron on, music loud, mixing cookie dough to bake tonight (I've decided cookies or just cookie dough are necessary for watching Lost). Benny was in his highchair throwing things down for me to pick up & laughing at my terrible dancing. I think my moves never matured past something similar to Molly Ringwald's stellar Breakfast Club choreography. Did you just shudder? Yeah, it's just shoulders & hips & the occasional outbreak of snapping my fingers. Uh huh, snapping. Even a 9 month old knows it's bad.

Anyway, I'm baking cookies. I was going to make some fancy pasta stuff too but have now decided to skip that seeing that it took me an hour to just mix up cookie dough with all the dancing, serenading Ben & whatnot. Oma & Opa Eisele are sightseeing in Sydney today so it's just me & the little monster. I kind of forgot how little I can accomplish in a day if I'm actually keeping an eye on him. WHICH I AM. I still want to make our bed & put away our clothes but it's almost 6pm so am not holding my breath. Why am I blogging when I have so much to do, you ask? Simple - I'm feeding him right this moment & typing with one hand. Some of us women truly can have it all.

Crap, I was going to post a recipe for the chocolate bread pudding Debbie made last night. Amaaaazing & seemed very simple. Will post tomorrow. My one hand is tired from typing in this chicken-pecking fashion & Ben has fallen asleep, which doesn't surprise me after his weird napettes today. Anyway, off I go. Enjoy your Wednesday!