100

This is my 100th blog post apparently. Celebrate with me you faithful reader(s)! Too bad it's not a happy one. Took Ben to the early childhood clinic this morning to deal with his eating issues. Turns out I'm a terrible, terrible mother who is letting my child down. She did not tell me this but I'm a mother so I can figure it out myself. Turns out my portly little fellow is UNDERWEIGHT! He's in the 90th percentile height wise but just under 75th for weight and that should be closer to the 90th as well. I have have have to get him on solids immediately and only breastfeed him 3 times a day (as in a 24 hour day) so he can get caught up. This is not going to be fun. I basically have to make him hungry enough to eat the foods he's avoided. I've been offering him pureed, mashed foods but apparently he should be eating everything we're eating at this point. She said if we eat spaghetti bolognese, he should eat it & if we have apricot chicken, he should have it too. I zoned out & made a mental note to get those recipes. What am I going to do??? I almost cried & am about to cry now, I feel terrible. I hate that I didn't get him on food when I should have and now I have to take a away the breastfeeding that we both love. I especially have to concentrate on iron rich foods so he should be having meat & veggies for dinner every night. Now I'm finally going to have to learn how to cook at least because the last steaks we made were not so good.

At least poor Ilse is here to help me get him on track - I would be a basket case by myself. He's napping as we speak but when he gets up he's supposed to have a sandwich & piece of fruit or a thing of yogurt. This is going to be a disaster. If any of you have tricks up your sleeve to make a baby eat, please let me know so I can skip the whole starve-him-to-make-him-eat routine. I know I'm being melodramatic but I really feel like shit. And I'm comforting myself with brownie rollout cookie dough that at the rate we're going will never become actual cookies.

We had a decent night last night but didn't get to watch the second hour of LOST because we hadn't found a trustworthy source to download it. We'll finish that up tonight but it's good to have those people back in our lives ... I think. It still makes my head hurt and I really have no idea what the hell is going on at anytime & if Sayid dies I will be on the next flight to Hawaii to give them a piece of my mind.

On the plus side of this food situation (hey lady, how about a segue?) she said that I must be exhausted since he'd be stealing all my nutrients from breastfeeding so much. I am tired so that should improve when he gets back in line with real food. Now just to be as vain as possible, does that mean I'm going to gain weight since he won't be sucking everything out of me? I can't have that - I'm at the end of my rope and am about to start that dreaded exercise concept again. I hate looking the way I do & feeling the way I do but I can't handle the blasted humidity to exercise outside. I'm going to have to get up early & go then but I don't want to wake Ben up because he usually sleeps nicely until 7am or so. I'll just have to give him his 2 weetbix with milk AND a piece of toast then go for a walk. Lord almighty, how is he ever going to eat that much?

Okay this pity parade is heading downhill quickly so I'm cutting myself off. Don't worry about me - I'll get over it soon & don't worry about Ben, we'll make him love food somehow. I have to not focus on my lack of mothering instinct & focus on the positive aspects of him getting healthy!

Just look at that handsome boy:

Soon he'll be eating everything as eagerly as that rusk he's chewing. Too bad he just spits the rusk pieces right back out. This is going to be tough. Curses, why does my font change everytime I add a blasted picture??? I'm trying to stop cursing like a sailor, which is going to be fun during these food battles but thankfully Spongebob gave me the lovely fill-in of just shouting "CURSES!" instead of whatever terrible terrible word I'd normally shout in frustration.


Okay, I'm going now. Have a happy day.